Three Writings from 2007

Oct 20, 2007

“Crumpled and Torn”

I tell myself that’s it’s ok to feel this way but it hurts a lot.

Between two poles I linger, undecided.

I look to you for some guidance, but you too are quite lost.

I dream of feeling something great, something magical.

I want to feel nothing at all.

I am squeezed between two conflicting ideals, each having the power to overpower.

I just want to say yes, I really do.  Now I don’t know what to say.

Someday I imagine I will be free of this, my constraint and my freedom, my cowardice and my determination to overcome.

Slowly I navigate towards another plane, a reality where my perception is less skewed.  But slowly will not win any hearts tonite.

Tonite I am alone.

I have my thoughts and they are lonely ones for sure.

Jun 1, 2007




The never-ending sound of the clock.

With each passing moment I grow weary.

With each passing moment I grow strong.

I remember who I am by forgetting who I was.

I must let go…

I must finally let go…

I have created a monster; I am Dr. Frankenstein.

There is hope, as small and beautiful as a daisy.

My seeds will grow and as the sands of time flow,

I will be free.

I will finally be free.


Early 2007

Steps to Learning

1.  Motivation creates patience and diligence to finally be able to “play for enjoyment” not only to practice.  Playing becomes second nature after a while.

2.  When you first start anything new, you suck at it.  It may be boring or confusing as well.  Can you endure the unpleasant experience of watching yourself suck, while both confused and bored?

3.  There are no shortcuts; YOU MUST LEARN THE FOUNDATIONS.  Anything that appears to be a shortcut will undoubtedly cost you more time in the end, learning the right way right now is the right way to learn.

4.  Learn how to practice efficiently, as if you were paying for lessons.  Learn something new every time you play.  The only barrier standing between your present reality and your future goal is practice, practice, practice.

5.  Anything that’s worth doing well is worth taking time on.  It will take time to learn and improve.  Go easy on yourself, not everyone grasps every concept right away.

6.  Like anything worth doing, getting there requires sacrifice, sacrifice that most others are not willing to make.  Be willing to make certain sacrifices as soon as you begin.

7.  Even when you get to another level, you will remain deeply unsatisfied with your abilities, skills, and knowledge.  There will always be someone that will be better at something than you.  But learning that truth and accepting it brings another great reward in the end.

8.  One key to learning more about everything is a rigorous program of aimless experimentation, disasters, and lessons you learn from them.

9.  Trial and error is not merely the best way to learn — its the only way.

10.  If learning a new skill was easy and straight forward then there wouldn’t be so many terrible web pages, dj’s, artists, etc…


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